On perfectionism as a yoga teacher
In my experience as a business coach, perfectionism is absolutely rampant in the wellness space and it’s causing huge damage.
So many of the yoga teachers, PTs, pilates teachers I work with experience absolutely crippling perfectionism that stops them in their tracks and hampers them making their business the success they deserve and dream about.
In this blog I wanted to take a look at perfectionism in the yoga and wellness industry, how that shows up as a business owner and give you some of my tried and tested tools for banishing your perfectionism for good.
Hi I’m Jade. I’m a recovering perfectionist.
I am a card-carrying, recovering perfectionist. For years, growing up being the best was the only option and I am 100% my harshest critic.
If it wasn’t a top grade, it wasn’t good enough. One time, I remember being in floods of tears over being appointed a Prefect, not a Senior Prefect as I wanted at school - I feel sad for baby 14 year old Jade, honestly. I also remember being worried about getting in trouble over a Grade C GCSE in German, despite having a whole year less study than everyone else due to changing schools at the end of year 7.
A lot of this was also down to being in a male dominated environment from a very young age - I went to college to study Motorsport Management, Logistics & Engineering at 16 in 2006 and I was the only girl in the entire department. Of course, the boys absolutely hated it and gave me an incredibly hard time for the first year. The only way to gain respect and have an easier life was to show my worth and validity for being there, therefore, I felt I had to absolutely obliterate them with my brains at every single opportunity. Which of course, was exactly what I did. Any less was never going to meet my standards.
That carried on into my adult life as PR & Marketing Manager. I won buckets of awards, was shortlisted as one of Autocar Magazine’s Top 100 Women in the Car Industry. Improved Press Offices from the worst to one of the best. Yet, my final employer was never happy and there was always an issue. 700 leads for a 100 unit production run car through articles? Do better.
Where did all my overachieving and perfectionism lead me? To a horrible panic disorder caused by the utter pressure and micromanagement of the workplace I was in. That wasn’t healthy on any level.
Now? Not so much. And I’m going to share what I did to batter my perfectionism in to submission shortly. But first, let’s dive in to perfectionism and how it manifests.
a look at perfectionism in practice
Earlier this week, I was on a coaching call with one of my awesome American clients. She said a couple of things that really resonated, and that absolutely capture the perfectionism trap I see regularly:
Her focus on perfectionism means she struggles with overwhelm and then doesn’t follow through because it’s safer to not do the thing, than fail
Doesn’t get things out in the world because it’s not absolutely perfect
Thoughts and issues like this aren’t uncommon.
Clinical Psychologist Linda Blair defines perfectionists as people “who strives for flawlessness, for a perfect creation, outcome or performance ... They find it difficult to delegate, even if that means neglecting their health, relationships and wellbeing in pursuit of a ‘perfect’ outcome.” She also notes in that article that women are particularly vulnerable and exposed to perfectionism and the increased risk of anxiety and depression the societal pressure perfectionism brings.
The wellness industry (and yoga in particular) are female dominated. Societally, we were members of the Good Girl Era as I like to call it.
Many of us grew up in the 90s/00s (or earlier) where we were taught to be “Good” - getting the absolute top grades was all that was acceptable, trying our hardest wasn’t good enough, we had to be the best - if it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t good enough. We had to hold our male peers to account, be that perfect sugar and spice, all things nice girl. Any less wasn’t acceptable.
Just last week, I was instructing a session at the climbing gym (I’m a climbing instructor for my social and mental health - and for the perks too, let’s be honest). A young girl was climbing a route in my session and she got about half way up the wall. She didn’t want to go any further, so I brought her down. Which is cool.
The second her feet touched the floor, she burst into floods of tears. I asked what was on her mind and why she was so upset, all of a sudden. She told me in between sobs, that she was upset she hadn’t got to the top and that wasn’t good enough. That broke my heart. I asked her if she was having fun - she said yes. I said “what’s the problem then?” She stopped crying and was absolutely flabbergasted that I wasn’t expecting her to be perfect.
Failure was never an option for us growing up, and it still isn’t societally. We were brought up that failure was absolutely the worst thing that could happen in a societal sense. That has a lasting impact on our mental health and wellbeing and creates huge hurdles for us as business owners.
The impact of perfectionism in business
In experience, perfectionism causes paralysis. These are the sort of problems I mean:
The dread and sheer thought of failing means you don’t start or do the things you want to do
You don’t launch things because you’re waiting for “the perfect time” or “it’s not right yet”
You know you need to get help but you talk yourself out of it
You need to do something in your business but you procrastinate committing or following through.
This paralysing fear or hyperfocus on perfect totally stops you doing things, progressing your business, investing in things to help you grow. All because that learned behaviour you’ve grown up thinking failing or not perfect = bad and totally unacceptable.
That is doing you absolutely zero favours.
get comfortable with imperfection and failure
The best way to banish and manage your perfectionism is practicing being uncomfortable, and failing safely.
Failing Safely
One tool I regularly use myself and with clients is setting goals that are a big stretch or that you are likely to fail at. These need to be inconsequential goals at first, then you can go a little bigger over time as you get more comfortable.
This is in essence a form of exposure therapy, trying uncomfortable things, seeing everything is okay and repeating.
Often our fails aren’t as bad as we think - they’re often actually pretty successful. You aim to get 20 people in a workshop but you get 8. That’s probably still above what you need to make a profit, and they loved the session; and ask you to do it again.
Failure is inevitable. I’ve failed and taken knocks more times than I can count. I mess up constantly. I’m still here. With Pride Creative is thriving and 2024 has been the biggest year ever.
The only way to become comfortable with failing is to fail, safely and keep failing and seeing everything is still okay. It helps you build your resilience and your confidence. And this is why setting one or two goals you know are a big stretch or likely to fail comes in.
You’ve got everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying - you might fail on the big goal, but still make more progress than refusing to start.
One of my failures this year? I still can’t unassisted pull up after years of trying. I am down to a 30kg band to help though, and can scapular shrug on a 20mm edge. That’s way better than I was at the start of the year, and my capacity for climbing push grades is so much better. I’ve moved myself forwards more than not doing anything at all and I’ve failed at something pretty inconsequential. The world is still turning. I’m happy and pretty healthy. It’s fine.
My challenge to you is to set yourself a goal or two like this.
Being Uncomfortable
One tool I talk about in my book is what I call the Good Enough Approach. I have a worksheet and full explanation there for you to keep, if you fancy it.
In essence, if you’re working on something for your business (let’s say a new class you want to launch) it basically helps you to check in and see if it is your perfectionism stopping you getting it out into the world and if what you’ve done is literally Good Enough to do the job you need it to.
It is far better to get on with it and get that new class out in the world so people can buy it, even if the graphic isn’t exactly perfect, every social post isn’t scheduled, you’ve not flyered every street etc.
I am always a big advocate for done is better than perfect.
Those small steps, getting things out there moves you forwards. Sitting there waiting for perfect doesn’t.
Other tools
Perfectionism and making progress in business is one of the big things I work with clients on and that accountability of having someone making sure you get things done, and giving you a talking to (sometimes!) can be hugely beneficial in terms of confidence and financial progress, too.
Making an action plan breaking your big aims down into smaller steps, then giving yourself deadlines is another favourite tool I suggest.
Just know that you are not alone on this journey of finding ways to overcome your perfectionism and move your business forwards.
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